Weight Issues

When it comes to losing weight, there’s one simple rule-don’t reach a stage where you need it! Sadly my life story exemplifies the above rule. Like they say “Live your life as an exclamation not explanation,” I can testify, how hard it is to do something your body just refuses to adjust to.

I love food… so much that when I eat breakfast I think of lunch; while lunch I think of dinner; while dinner I think of food I would have the next day. I live only to eat. It has been my life’s sole purpose. Until of course harsh reality made its presence felt and I realized there was more to life than just eating. I think I haven’t totally mastered that last bit but hey I try each day.

Besides food, lazing around and sleeping are my other favorites. It’s like when I sleep, I dream of sleeping. That’s how comforting it is to me. So it goes without saying that a life like that can yield only one result. Add a dash of genes prone to making life tougher than it needs to be and you have the bitter-sweet recipe of the life led by any fat/obese person.

We know why it’s bitter. The sweet bit I realized only after losing half the desired amount of weight required for my body type. The compliments!

But keep food, a sedentary life style and genes on one side and you have something that’s the hardest to attack. A fat person’s psyche. If you look around you almost all fat people you know are great at humour. That’s got nothing to do with a special endowment we possess. It’s because we learn to laugh at ourselves because we know there’s no way we can stop others. Can’t beat them, join them-is the motto, isn’t it? It’s harder adjustment than you think but we master the art to take pride in being the butt of all jokes and even add a line or two to the ones others share. It’s a hard life but we drown the sorrow by telling ourselves: hey, at least I made someone laugh. Of course it’s not the same for all. Some get cranky and then that makes the situation even worse for them.

Another is the strenuous task of keeping everyone we know, at bay. Stay detached so nothing any one says bothers us. We build a really thick shield around us that no one can penetrate which means no hurting. Some like me, develop a heightened sense of self often termed as “superiority complex”. The worst is the time when that shield smashes to the floor in smithereens making you lay prostrate on the ground, trying to pick the pieces up. It doesn’t happen easily is all I can say from experience.

When I started loosing weight it was grueling. There were times when I cried, had bad body ache, stayed mad at everyone for days, shut myself away and wanted to just die because it seemed too damn hard! Less food, counting calories, workout regimes became the only topics I could think or talk of (till date). Nosey relatives criticising everything I did, only added to the frustration.

However, at an event (that I finally agreed to attend) people managed to spot the loss in body mass and said “You have lost weight!” A big smile came on my face every time I heard it. Someone also asked “How much have you lost till now?” That question however simple and regular changed my perception of myself. “12kgs” I said after calculating on my finger tips (mathematics isn’t my strongest subject).

As I heard myself say the number it had a weirder effect on me than I imagined it to have. The next day at yoga, I stood in front of the full length mirror (which I am pretty sure makes everyone look fatter and shorter than they are) and saw myself up and down for the first time. Not after the weight loss, mind you. It was the first time I really looked at myself and saw what others had been seeing and worrying about. My first and only thought-if this is how I look after losing 12kgs, what did I look like before?

After that there was no looking back. I worked harder than ever. I was fighting against myself, for myself. Everyone used to tell me for years that in order for me to lose weight I would have to hate myself. I could never wrap my brain around that theory. I love myself! Every bit of me. My driving force to lose weight has been and will always be (because there are miles to go before I eat and sleep) me, I, and myself. I want to eat what I want (I am food obsessed), wear what I want to wear (God knows how I yearn to slap badly dressed people with good bodies), dance and be able to look at the videos without wanting to choke myself to death and STOP BEING THE DINNER TABLE CONVERSATION!

Here’s a thing for people who are close to those dealing with weight issues. They are scared. They want to lose weight more than you think they do and it’s the first step that is the hardest for them. If you are genuinely concerned, hold their hand and walk them through the ordeal. Don’t push them! If anything, it will make them run to the chips and chocolates cabinet, making you the enemy and them fatter. We need inspiration…not negotiations.