I’ve been deadened

When I started the journey I was happy

I wasn't thinking about the next turn

I just wanted to walk

Then I sprinted, then made a leap, of faith

I didn't know where I was headed

It didn't matter, so I went on

Then I reached a deadend

Now what? What's next I ask?

I contemplated long and hard

For what seems long and enough

I banged my head against the wall

Not so happy, not ready to be let down

Maybe I was strong; I could tear down the wall

But I happen to be wrong

The wall has its reason but then so do I

Neither is ready to give up, so we both put up a fight

But I guess it’s time I retrace my steps

This probably isn’t my track

I've known this for a while now but can I pave another course?

Why do the stakes seem so high now?

When I began I had nothing

When I ventured I had not a thing to lose

But when I look back now something's mine no more

My saving grace is- it wasn’t mine at all