Growing up we all have a huge long list of attributes, must-haves we desperately seek in the boys we wish to end up with. Superlatives, adjectives abound to such a degree it’s almost embarrassingly optimistic to even expect a person be everything you want them to be. Word after word seems incapable and inadequate to describe him to perfection. Rarely does one have such a humongous vocabulary or even the aptitude to register and amass all such terminologies!! When asked, we tend to speak all of them with such ease as if that’s all that ever matters. We take it for granted that not only does this person with super human endowments exist but will also reach out to us and love us.
Love. It’s easily the most misunderstood word there can be… actually maybe not misunderstood just misinterpreted. It’s a word which by itself is never enough as it comes with so many add-ons; it’s hard to keep up. With love, we want understanding, compassion, and a whole lot of indulgence. We expect, anticipate and wish assiduously to get him somehow. Hope against hope that he finds us. Yes we also want to be wooed. We want him to make the first move, make us feel important, ask us out and let the ball be in our court.
Only as we grow older and wiser (for those of us who in due course mature) do we realize that the scenarios have changed incredibly. Faced with characteristics we so desperately longed for, we realize don’t always hold up. The desire to be pampered changes into seeking space, wanting a guy who loves to hear you talk needs trading for one who you can have conversations with, looks seem less important to one who knows how to carry himself well and eventually you feel the perfection you craved for is Closter phobic. Everyone you know seems to opine unanimously that he’s great for you and you know too that he’s the best that’ll come along but there’s that one voice in your brain/heart/conscience/soul/whatever that tells you otherwise. You are sick with yourself for wanting to let go of a grand opportunity but you just can’t help it!
You understand what you don’t want but remain oblivious to what you must have. The list goes for a toss and all you are left with is pity and wretchedness over having rejected possibly your only chance at a soul mate.
Soul mate. Really who is that? Someone who is indispensable to you perhaps. Helps you grow and evolve in the big bad world never forsaking you. Stick with you through all the bumps and bruises life bestows on you so generously. Don’t friends do that?? They are usually your alter ego, aren’t they? Then why do we pine for a different kind of companionship? What is it that we are missing? This something we are not even aware of. An element of ecstatic joy!
Chemistry. It’s a bitch really. It cannot be defined or explained but only felt. It sends tremors throughout your body. An electrifying trepidation titillates you to the bone. It makes you want to trade the warm and fuzzy for the child and glossy only to realize your maturity stands no ground. You frantically hunt for a euphoria that obliterates everything except that scintillating bliss which makes you let go of the only bona fide, everlasting, sometimes eternal sublimity. Not so mature are we then?
So what does a girl want ultimately?
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